Lipstick on a Pig… or a Real Renovation? How to Tell (and How to Do It Right)

So you’ve graduated from late-night Zillow scrolling to touring homes in person. First of all—congrats! That’s a big move (literally). But before you fall head over heels for that freshly painted cutie with trendy fixtures and an Instagram-worthy kitchen, let’s talk about a costly little trap I see all the time…

It’s called: Lipstick on a Pig.
Or as I like to say, glitter on a rat’s ass (sorry, but it sticks). Translation? A home that’s had a quick cosmetic makeover to distract you from the creaky bones underneath.

Now, I’m not against a little glow-up—when it’s done right. A coat of paint, shiny new hardware, and a fiddle leaf fig in the corner? Lovely. But if the plumbing is from 1963 and the electrical panel still has fuses, that trendy backsplash won’t mean much.

For Buyers: How to Spot the Sparkle vs. Substance

1. Kitchens and bathrooms never lie.
   Crooked tiles? Caulking done by someone in a rush (or blindfolded)? These rooms reveal if the reno was rushed or thoughtful.
2. Check for permits.
   If the listing says “new kitchen” but there’s no paper trail, be cautious. Unpermitted work can tank a resale, void insurance, or leave you holding a bag of legal headaches.
3. Beware the fake square footage.
   Finished basement? Awesome—if it was legally finished. If not, that square footage might not count toward appraisals or tax assessments.
4. Look past the fluff.
   Focus on structure, systems, drainage, roof, HVAC, plumbing. I do this in every showing—while you admire quartz counters, I’m sniffing out mold in the crawl space. You’re welcome.

For Sellers: How to Do Lipstick Right (and Add Real Value)

Putting lipstick on a pig can help resale—just don’t make it a circus clown. Here's how to elevate it:

1. Fix before you fluff.
   Buyers don’t mind older countertops if the roof and A/C are in great shape. Address critical issues first—it pays off more than you think.
2. DIY, but know your limits.
   Pinterest projects are cute, but crooked shiplap and misaligned vanities scream “weekend warrior.” Hire a pro for the details buyers willnotice.
3. Go neutral, go timeless.
   Trendy is fun. But timeless sells. Think clean, bright, fresh—not flashy.
4. Be honest.
   Disclose what’s been done, what’s new, and what’s not. Buyers will find out anyway. The more transparent you are, the smoother the deal.

Some of the best homes I’ve helped clients buy didn’t have gold faucets or Pinterest-perfect staging. But they were solid, smart buys—lovingly maintained, with great bones and even better stories.

Whether you're buying or selling, I’ll help you see past the glitter, find the gold, and guide you every step of the way.

Let’s find the right one—together.
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